For people which are looking for high quality french cuisine in France If you want to go into the water, you unfortunately have to go in – and into your tight pants…
France, the land of haute couture, fine fabrics, and good taste. But anyone who thinks that fashion freedom also applies to the pool is seriously mistaken.
In France's public swimming pools, there is a tough law that has been causing controversy since 1903, in the truest sense of the word: only tight-fitting swimming trunks are allowed.
Speedo or out
Whether it's a hotel pool in Nice, a campsite in Brittany, or a water park near Marseille, men in France have exactly two options: either they slip into a skin-tight Speedo or a whining jammer, er, "jammer" (the tight-fitting cycling shorts version).
Or they stay outsideWide swim shorts, casual Bermuda shorts, or even stylish surf shorts? Forbidden! Illegal! Fashion crime!
Hygiene – not haute couture
Now you might think, "Typical French, everything for the look." But you'd be wrong. It's not about style, but about... ...hygiene. Yes, very sexy!
Wide shorts are considered "street clothes" and could drag dust, dirt, chip crumbs, or the remains of yesterday's croissant into the pool. And who knows what men hide in their pockets? (Spoiler alert: tissues, sand, and the occasional half a baguette).
Disadvantages of tight swimwear
But even tight-fitting models have their pitfalls. They're not only a visual challenge for the beholder, but also for some men's self-esteem. Because let's be honest: Who feels comfortable when everything... ...let's say... ...is visibly sorted?
Freedom of movement: limited. Coolness factor: zero. And what do you do with the locker room key? There's no room for it in your swim trunks, unless you want to answer awkward questions.
Here the pants may flutter
Anyone who wants to escape the strictures of the law must go to the sea. There's no swimsuit police there. Anything goes on the beach, whether board shorts, thongs, or nothing at all (hello, nudists!).
But woe betide anyone who enters the hotel pool afterwards without putting on their mandatory textile diploma.
France's men under pressure
So, dear bathers: If you want to swim in France, you have to leave your fashion freedom at home and submit to the law of the Lycra legionnaires.
So pack whatever's tight, or better yet, stay in your apartment's hot tub. Because in France, only those who push can splash around...
Sierks Media / © Photos: Jas Rolyn, Unsplash
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